Tales of Gotham City
by Batscribe29
Summary: A series of one shots about different characters in Batman's famous city. Some based on media, some not. Some 1st person. Some not. Some may be tame, some may not. The rating is a limit of T so that's what I've set. Not good at summaries... PLEASE REVIEW! I LOVE TO HEAR WHAT YOU THINK!
1. An Icy Reception

_**Disclaimer**__: If I owned DC Comics, I wouldn't be sitting here in a budget flat on a laptop at 3am. Unfortunately I don't own DC comics, and here I am. _

_This is a first writing one-shots, but I figured it would be easier to write than a 100,000 word story that would take loads of time to plan. Time I don't have. Reviews are not just welcome, they're encouraged! I'd love to see what people think of what I'm writing. So please, if it impresses you, or it horrifies you as a reader... give me a review or PM to say what you thought. I'd really appreciate it._

_This series will tend to stay around the T rating area, but it may lift up to M, depending on how I'm feeling when I'm writing. So without further ado, enjoy the first of my one-shots: __**Icy Reception**_

_**A/N: **__These One-shots are usually situated around a character from how they are portrayed in some sort of media. For today, think of your narrator, the Penguin, in his Arkham City persona in an AU._

The Iceberg Lounge. The hottest place to be on a Saturday night in Gotham City. You'll find all sorts of high rollers and psychos alike round here. Whether you want the corrupt cops, the Falcones or an ex-inmate of Arkham, you've got good odds of finding at least one of them crazy buggers at the Iceberg Lounge. Now you should know me as Oswald Cobblepot, and if you don't? Get your head out of the bloody sand boy! I own the Iceberg Lounge, I deal with its problems, so what would any owner, such as myself, expect when an _uninvited_ guest shows up? Hmm?

My family's had dealings with the Wayne family and it's corporation for generations, only recently have I been able to rebuild our rightful stature at the heights of Gotham's pecking order. So when their current disgrace of a CEO walks in asking for a drink, I thought I might have a little fun here.

The arrogant bastard asks the waiter for a drink – I give him the go ahead, just cause I want to see

Wayne squirm.

So he sits at a table with his whore and orders the drinks, she gets a wine spritza – he gets a martini. Smug bastard. So I says to my toughest bouncer to go over and hassle him for a bit. Well, I just sat back and watched. I couldn't hear what they were sayin', but by the look on Wayne's face, he was gettin' _pretty_ pissed! So then outta nowhere, my guy picks him up and throws him across the room, and just his luck, he happens to crash through the table of Bane, of all people. Now I'm still sittin' 'ere laughing my arse off, whilst Bane picks up the classy prick, and spits in his face. Then he raises his arm to knock Wayne from here to Keystone City. As you've guessed, I'm absolutely lovin' this!

But then the inevitable happened. Right on cue, as if he'd been here all along, the boy blunder clips Bane right in the venom socket, and the guy goes damn right ballistic. Glasses, food, tables, all flying around the place like a hurricane just hit. I took a fork to the knee, but that was nothin' compared to all kinds of hell that Bane was getting. I've never seen the bloke so angry! Bloody carnage it was!

So then the businessman about me started to kick in, and so I stepped in to break it up. Spoken orders seemed to do nothing, so I stabbed Bane in the ankle with my Umbrella.

'_Break it up!' _I said, roaring over everything else. _'I don't have violent Mercenaries in my club, nor do I have teenagers in unitards either! So clear off.' _Surprisingly, they did. Bane trudged off into the distance, while Robin disappeared through the open window.

I felt pleased with myself, that I could regain order without having to kill anyone, (although, I desperately wanted to) so I turned to see how Brucie was doing. I looked around the room, asked my staff, and not one person had seen him leave, but yet he wasn't here. But what really annoyed me, was that his check was $5 short. You would've thought he'd have the money eh?


	2. Bird Brothers

_**A/N: **__I decided to put up 2 at once to start things off, give you a little more to read first time round. Not all of these will be in first person, as this next one proves. As always feel free to review and tell me what you think. _

"Dammit!" said an exasperated Tim Drake, better known to the Gotham Underworld as Red Robin.

"He's heading towards the swamps. We'll get him tomorrow, let's go home."

"Are you sure, Bruce? He smashed up half the Narrows." The Dark Knight rose from his crouched position and readied his grapnel gun.

"Let Gordon deal with that. We're busy." With that, he shot up to the Batwing and proceeded to fly towards the Cave.

"Jeez. Someone hung from the wrong side of the cave tonight." Tim's wrist communicator bleeped.

"Tim, you gotta come see this!" chuckled a spritely Nightwing. Tim laughed.

"Where are you?"

"Gotham pier. Hurry, this is hilarious!"

"Hey get off a me ya gig ugly grute!" came the gravelly voice from below. As Nightwing watched, three street thugs were playing catch with the notorious gangster, Scarface, who was somehow still attached to his handler, Arnold Wesker.  
"Oh my god this is too good to be true! Dick, how'd you find him?" said Red Robin after his arrival.

"Well Wesker has been camping out in the Blűdhaven slums for a week, and when I finally moved away I decided to follow him. I've got Cassy minding the city for me while I'm away."

"Shouldn't we step in to do something?"

"Give it a minute. Lets enjoy it before things get out of hand." Dick said with a small laugh.

"I'm gonna turn you into splinters you little wooden freak! And as for you, ya tight lipped little dork, I'm giving you such a beating, you'll h..." he stopped mid sentence as he caught a glimpse of the two heroes on the rooftop. " Hey the bird brains are here! Get 'em"

"Well, time to go to work." Said Tim as he jumped into the fray, followed by his older compatriot. The two thugs raced towards them, fists at the ready. The first was stopped in his tracks by the swipe of Red Robins staff catching him cleanly on the head. The second of which managed to swing a punch at Nightwing, only for it to be completely redirected towards the ground, giving enough momentum for the hero to spin him onto his back.

"Easy." Dick smirked as his opponent gradually pulled himself to stand. A wild haymaker from the thug was swiftly followed by an elbow strike to the chin, chipping the bone and rendering the unfortunate goon unconscious. Nightwing turned to see Red Robin standing with his arms folded, holding up the bruised Ventriloquist.

"Took you're time. I had mine down in one hit."

"It wasn't a competition, Red. Although if it was, I would have brought my A-game, and you would have lost." Tim gave a smirk.

"Are you taking him to Arkham? Or shall I?"

"You do it, I've got Blűdhaven business to deal with. I'll see you soon Red."

"Later buddy."

"So what you gonna do ya gig girdy?" said Scarface.

"Mr. Scarface, please! You're not helping us at all!" blurted Wesker.

"Quiet! I'm the boss here ya..." He was quickly muffled by a tiresome Red Robin. He ressed a button on his belt, and the traditional red motorcycle sped to a halt in front of them, complete with convenient sidecar. "Time to put you away again Wesker- you've violated your parole."

They sped away, as a tall figure looked on from the top of the crane, cape blowing in the wind.

"Taught 'em well." Batman smirked.


	3. A Feathered Conundrum Pt1

"Sharks? No I've done that already! How 'bout electrified floor panels?"

"Mr Riddler, sir? You did that one last month."

"Quiet you! I need to think!" replied Edward Nygma to the henchman. "Piranhas? Nah, too similar to sharks." He paced around his office, the cogs in his mind churning for an answer. A new idea. Something that would finally beat the bat. "Eureka!" he shouted.

"What is it sir?" asked the hopeful henchman.

"Riddle me this! Bears and flies both share my name, but if I find you, it's the end of your game. What am I?"

"Jeez, uh... bears, and flies huh?" He stood in deep thought, straining away at a seemingly easy puzzle for Edward. "Is it helicopter?" Edward pinched his nose in dismay.

"What part of that, exactly, made you think _helicopter_?"

"It was the first word to pop into my head," came the embarrassed reply.

"It's simple, the answer is a TRAP."

"Wha...? I don't get it?"

"BEAR-trap? Venus FLY-trap? *sigh* low-life cretin. I have more important things to deal with, leave me."

"Ok boss." The thug replied as he left the room.

_I've got to get this right! No mind such as mine should be trumped by an overconfident bafoon in a unitard! _He thought to himself. _So what bait to I set to catch a bat?_ _What could he not resist? I've faced him a thousand times, only to be beaten (sometimes literally) by this man; this man? Of course! What would the bat protect more than anything else? His little Robin! Yes that's it! _

__"Boys! Get our Political bait and get in the car. We've got a bird to catch!" Edward shouted.


End file.
